Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Ode to My Fluffy Self

I had a T-shirt when I was 12 that had a fluffy bunny on it, and it said "I'm not fat. I'm just fluffy." For years, that was my motto. I would always come up with excuses for being overweight. Example: "Marilyn Monroe was a size 12!" and "Skinny chicks are always cold!" and "Yeah I buy my clothes at plus sized stores, but I am the smallest size available at the plus sized stores. So, I am actually OK." And then it all changed when the comedian Gabriel Iglesias started doing his standup routine about "fluffy". My reaction was "Shit. I gotta turn fat guy off and hit up the gym."

That was 5 years ago. In 5 years I have made a lot of progress. I went from 225 pounds to 175 rather quickly. Then I went up to 195 pounds, down to 175, up to 193, and back down again to 175 pounds. Everytime I hit 175, I think "Wow!! Check ME out! Don't I look like a hunk of all right?" and I again sink back into my excuses. "Marilyn Monroe was a size 12, and I am a size 10-ish depending on the brand! Take THAT, 50's icon!" and "Who wants to look like Jessica Biel anyway?! That chick needs a pork sandwich!" and "I can buy jeans at American Eagle! Who CARES if my size is on the very bottom shelf, tucked away in the back with the label 'Size 10-12' hidden from view from everyone else as if it were a dark, dirty secret?"

Ahh yes... the same old excuses game that every chubby chick plays, and why not? It's easier than dieting, easier than going to the gym, and WAY easier than thinking that we have problems. So, granted... I am very proud of the fact that I have lost 50 pounds and kept it off. However, I have clearly not gotten over the routine of "Just let me see how far I can bullshit myself."

So, inspired by my good old friend Katie, I have decided to keep a blog detailing my ongoing, final lap of saying "Adios!" to my faithful fat. My fat has been with me since time immemorial, but it's finally time to take the sucker off of life support. I have 25 pounds to lose. The first 50 I was able to lose with barely any exercise. I hate exercise. HATE IT. I hate it more than Jerry Sandusky hates a night away from 10 year olds. But I have realized that even once I get down to my goal weight, I am still going to look fluffy if I have no lean muscle. Therefore, I have no choice by to burn fat at the gym, tone my muscles, and continue on the hungry quest of saying "No!" to fluffy.

As such, I will do my best to keep this blog abreast of details, losses, gains, successes, and failures. Hopefully, there will be more successes than failures, but ultimately it doesn't matter. I am sick of this jiggly fluff I got going on, and I am determined to eradicate it once and for all! I want 175 to be a number of the past like 225 and 195. And I intend to start right.... NOW! :-)

1 comment:

  1. "Who wants to look like Jessica Biel anyway?! That chick needs a pork sandwich!" Hahahahahahaha!!!! You're amazing. But you know what? Forget Jessica Biel. When we're done, she's gonna wish she looked like us! Ehhh... well at least she'll wish she was as cool as we are, and definitely she'll be jealous of the funnyness. I can't imagine she's very funny.
    Good luck to you, my friend! So glad to have inspired, and I'm glad to have a companion in this!